Ad Break!
By Mark Daniell
09/07/2018
If they’re going to subject us to them, then the mouse has the right to chip in two cents’ worth.
Philips OneBlade pube trimmer
Listen, I don’t mind if that guy wants to shave his face and his chest and then trim his ballfro, sure it’s a bit skanky to use that blade on your face again, but whatever, that’s his business. The question is, why does he suddenly turn to camera and give a creepy smile? Don’t look at the camera you freak! That suggests you know you’re being filmed. And that changes the mood of the ad completely. Now we unwittingly become party to this ballfropiary; creepy spectators to some seedy online demo. Which begs the question: where’s that buzzer going next?
Bear in mind this ad was on during a 3pm kick off. That’s not appropriate ballfro guy. Keep your creepy smile to yourself.
Instagram JetLag
This is totally an allegory for Dignitas. Be careful about watching it too many times.
Hdac Household appliances with blockchain
1. What's this an advert for?
2. Hdac? Now and Tomorrow? What are we talking about?
3. Did you say blockchain? Ah, that clears up nothing.
4. Who directed the actors?
Can you sound like a dubbed Japanese cartoon from the eighties?
If you mean can I be overenthusiastically jolly and posh? Absolutely!
That’s it! Exactly how a dishwasher would never sound.
Right-ho! May I enquire as to what we are purveying?
Oops! Shh…
Coral Danny McBride in the changing rooms
Did neither the writer, nor the artist, nor the director, nor the extras on set, nor anyone at any point in the making of this ad, nor Danny himself, point out that two opposing teams don’t share a changing room? And what’s the Scots janitor doing just hanging around while both sets of players get changed? What goes on in Coral dressing rooms?
Chinese Wanda pitchside adverts
I have it on good authority that these guys bought the adspace around the pitches before being instructed to withdraw from all foreign markets. Still, I like to imagine that the preceding Chinese characters just mean “A fish called” so it’s not a waste of money at all.
Bet 365 Illuminati Caampney
Is it a platform for people to lose money? Or is it the Illuminati? Would the Illuminati describe themselves as a Caampney? What Caampney does Ray keep as he sits at home slowly atrophying to the ad breaks that kill his love of football? Oh I know he’s got rich off it, but how many times do you have to hear yourself say Caampney before the money’s not worth it? More than 365? Less than 365? £5 spread?
Normal service resumes tomorrow.