Get Out Of Wales Free
By Mark Daniell
30/11/2022
Preamble
Well that was nice. Wales did the magnanimous thing and let us have a training session before the knock-outs. A few one-on-ones for our strikers to warm up, bit of free kick practice, they even had some pops from range themselves to make sure Pickers didn’t get bored. Good old Wales. See you again in 50 years, yeah?
Amble
The Netherlands 2 – 0 Qatar And that’s that for Qatar. A quick google suggests that the solitary Qatari goal cost somewhere between $220bn-$300bn. Call me old-fashioned, but for that money, the mouse would have chucked an extra billion on there and bought the Ecuador FA.
Ecuador 1 – 2 Senegal You have to feel for Ecuador. They probably should have taken that billion
Iran 0 – 1 USA Didn’t see this one. Danny Murphy did though, and he wasn't happy about it.
Wales 0 – 3 England 8 year-old John Stones dreamt of one day playing for England, one day going to a World Cup, one day being 3-0 up and having the freedom to push up front, being six yards out, seeing the ball drop at his left foot. Wakey wakey 8 year-old John Stones! Time for school!
Postamble
Right then… what next? I’ll tell you what next: Senegal, France, Germany… Argentina. Done. Life is easy when you’re a clairvoyant. Boring, but easy. Which ironically, is the opposite of TENET, which is boring, but extremely difficult. If you haven’t watched TENET, consider the mouse to be inverted and coming back from your future to say, don’t do it. But know that you’ll do it anyway, and when you do do it, you’ll not only think, what? But you’ll also think, I knew this would happen, and then you’ll think back to this moment and you’ll think, what?
Pundit-watch
Iran staring down the barrel of elimination, but will VAR save them in the final seconds?
Steve Wilson: Did he pull him?
Danny Murphy: Nah nah nah nah… you can tell from the calmness of Carter-Vickers, that was never a penalty.
Danny auditioning for jury duty there.
Haircut of the Day
Phil Foden: I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want
Hairdresser: So tell me what you want, what you really really want
Phil Foden: I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I really really really wanna Zigazag hair.
Goal of the Day
Marcus Rashford silences the flighty-ball critics by smashing in only the second free kick goal of the tournament. Should keeps have done better? Shh…
Doppellëtter
Robert Lewandowski = Ray Lliotta Ritchie Lunningham Rod Lull
Win Predictions
Australia v Denmark
11 year old: “I don't know." "Have a guess" "Denmark?”
7 year old: “Australia!”
Coloured Dice: Black
Tunisia v France
11 year old: “France!”
7 year old: “France!”
Coloured Dice: Green
Saudi Arabia v Mexico
11 year old: “Mexico!”
7 year old: “Mexico!”
Coloured Dice: Yellow
Poland v Argentina
11 year old: “Argentina!”
7 year old: “Argentina!”
Coloured Dice: Brown
Argentina!
Tally
11 year old: -£4.91
7 year old: -£5.95
Reeling him in...