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It's summer, it's Friday and it's the World Cup Quarter Finals.
The only cocktail that can possibly live up to such anticipation involves Europop, mullets and ludicrous close control
Thought for the day
Pub trivia
Pieces of eight
Do you want to write for The Mouse & Keys?
"Please, please don't start on petrol prices. If you were a piece of zooplankton, squished for sixty million years, fractionally distilled and then shipped halfway across the road to be burnt in a traffic jam because someone didn't want to get their hair wet, then I'll listen. If not, go back to your GCSEs."