Sunday blues

By Mark Daniell

15/06/2014

Well it’s a Sunday and I’m pretty sure most of us are coming off the back of a late night, so let’s keep it sweet:

Points of note: Pirlo was the only Italian player not wearing headphones as he ambled off the bus and into the stadium. Either that’s a sign of eerie sel-assurance, or else he still can’t get enough of those beard compliments. Damn that guy’s swarthy!

It’s just not fair on a pub full of punters who’ve been drinking for twelve hours straight for the BBC to stick up in the top right hand corner that Sterling had scored in the third minute. I don’t know about you, but I look to that top corner in the same way as the goalscorer looks to the linesman. If that says it’s good, it’s good. Except yesterday…

Meanwhile back and headquarters the BBC had mustered up the triple threat of Ferdinand, Shearer and Henry, a three-way charisma drain that sucks the life out of any tense situation. Seriously, we went straight from goal line clearance, Italy then hitting the post, all hands on deck panic station to… Henry mindfully contemplating the sound of a wave breaking on a pebble beach. To be fair, Gary did try to spark things into life by asking him if he’d ever got away with a handball, but Henry has ice in his veins and just flat-batted the question back to the bowler. And he’s French.

But what did we learn of the football?

Well, obviously Balotelli and Chiellini share a kit bag as they were wearing each other’s alternate boots. Then again, Adam Lallana joined the party late on with some odd boots too… Is this some huge international footballers’ swingers club? If so, an intriguing subtext is unfolding…

What else did we learn? Uruguay may not be the force we thought – or else that was a blip… either way, our next game is going to be an all-out goalfest.

Lastly, as the second half kicked off I hope you all clocked Guy Mowbray’s intro, “it’s after midnight, so let’s hope for a thriller” Nice homework Melton, keep it up.