The Stars At Night

By Mark Daniell

17/06/2014

Well, we’re nearly there. We’ll see the final four teams play today and the general consensus is that so far the World Cup is a cracker! Why? Well mainly because there have been plenty of goals, and more importantly, because the big names are scoring them.

Also, England have shown genuine and consistent attacking intent and impressive resilience. Fine, we lost, but that result was hardly a foregone conclusion. But for an inch here or there the result could have gone any way of win, draw or hefty defeat, which is always the sign of a good open, attacking game. Of course, good, open attacking games don’t give the media its necessary scapegoat, so today Wayne Rooney has taken the brunt of the dissatisfaction. Personally, I think the general opinion that Rooney had a poor game is just lazy, and it’s not helped by Shearer claiming that ‘at this level you have to put away the one chance you get’ as with Mario ‘once chance one goal’ Balotelli. Balotelli had 4 attempts on goal, Rooney had 3. Rooney meanwhile was playing out wide and set up the equaliser. The fact remains that in spite of his position he was just wide of scoring the equaliser against a staunch Italian defence. On another day he would have scored and been the hero, let’s not be so fickle. The team played well, could have won and most importantly were fun to watch. When was the last time you said that of an England performance?

So how have other marquee players fared? Ronaldo was muted, possibly because he was playing with a man down, possibly because he’s hiding some kind of injury, but probably because he was up against Germany. Neymar looked a bit lucky to scuff in a speculative effort and then be handed a ridiculously dubious penalty. Mueller benefitted from some pantomime villainy, was also handed a generous penalty, but to be fair showed plenty of hunger. Benzema looked in good nick, and The Flying Dutchman has the wind in his sails.

Which leaves Messi. By the time Argentina kicked off, the hype surrounding Messi was pretty much out of control. Even Juninho was eager to see him do the impossible. (Although I suspect this might be a ploy to increase the weight of expectation to unbearable levels and see him crumble, damned Brazilians!) It wouldn’t be enough for Messi to score a dodgy penalty, or even a scuffed long range effort, the expectation on Messi is always for him to beat four players and rifle in a shot off the post from outside the area.

Good news then that that’s exactly what he did.

Obviously, when he started, Messi looked out of ideas, but credit to the Bosnians for their play, and to Sabella for changing the formation with a dual substitution at half time. The roar from the stadium as Messi scores is worth checking out before FIFA remove this video. It’s also worth checking out the two defenders who clatter into each other in his wake. It’s almost tempting to get a special effects genius to photoshop Messi out of his own highlights reel just so that we can see the carnage he leaves behind – kind of like a less psycho-analytical Garfield minus Garfield.

And yet, for all the goals we’ve also had a fair bit of pansying about: Fred’s flop, Costa’s flat white, Pogba hamming up the Palacios leg tangle and Pepe leaning down to shout at Mueller for face-clutching only for their heads to touch and him therefore to receive a red card. Sure, Pepe’s a tit, and he shouldn’t react to Mueller’s gamesmanship, but that was a very soft red. If that's a headbutt then I don't think we're allowed to use the term for Zidane's 2006 masterpiece. Maybe that now gets upgraded to head-ram.

Back at the Beeb mind you, people were less libertarian, not least Clarence Seedorf who ignored the impact the card had on the team’s prospects, the nation’s hopes or even Pepe’s mother, and instead asked “How does Pepe think Cristiano Ronaldo feels about that?” Like that’s what should be first in his mind. Maybe that’s an approach we should use in general family life: A teenager comes home late? Hey, don’t mind me, but how do you think that makes Cristiano feel? A toddler won’t eat his food? Fine, starve yourself, but what about CR7? Did you stop to consider his feelings?

At least we have Robbie Savage to clear things up. In reference to the Honduras red card: “Palacios stuck his leg out, that’s a red.” Mitigating shmitigating, you wouldn’t want to come up against Robbie in the magistrate’s court. You just get this feeling that should he be holidaying somewhere exotic during a military coup, he’d simply recognise the new set of rules and be at the generalissimo’s right hand within months. “It’s the law”. I can just see him snuggled up nicely on this sofa.

Savage, after watching Clint Dempsey fail to sing the US anthem:

RS: If I was the manager of my country I’d make my players learn their national anthem and sing it.

Dempsey scores within 31 seconds.

Guy Mowbray: You’d forgive Dempsey now.

RS: I’m not sure I would. 

Savage.