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Upset!

By Mark Daniell

29/06/2012

Well I don’t know why the applecart was so pleased with itself to begin with, I mean talk about redundant technology, but whatever, it ain’t so smug any more.

Having won every game so far, displayed depth, unity, creativity and ruthlessness in attack, the Germans were landed a sucker punch that they took far too long to come back from. In a nutshell, they failed to shut down Pirlo in midfield, which meant they gave away too many chances on goal, which, in the end, set the stage for the big fella. On another day they might have got away with it, after all, we’ ve seen how profligate Super Mario can be, but last night it just fell right for him. In the end, it wasn’t so much the 2-0 deficit before half time that did the damage as the manner in which it was taken. Ballotelli clobbered a shot from 20 yards out that nobody could have stopped. Neuer stood motionless and I think even applauded the goal. Germany were shellshocked and by the time they had regrouped and remembered that at 2-0 down, one solitary goal can reverse the momentum completely, it was the final minute.

It was quite something to watch Jürgen Klinsmann writhing in the commentary box as his team went down. Personally I found it endearing: interrupting, claiming clear handballs, laughing nervously at the folly and injustice of it all and then beseeching his team to ‘get nasty’. One forgets that for all their pantomime villain posturing, and despite semi-final and final appearances, Germany haven’t won anything in sixteen years. But then you remember that sixteen years ago was in England in '96 when we had Gazza and Shearer and were supposed to win and you think wait, screw you Alemans! Haha! You know what hurts the most? It isn’t losing, it’s losing when you thought you finally had a chance of winning the whole thing. That’s what really hurts. In Jür Bin, Klin! 

But the upsets kept coming. Immediately after the game, wives everywhere let out a communal sigh as a flick of the buttons saw even more live sports! And essential viewing too because Nadal was about to stage an incredible comeback. Unlike football, there’s no time limit in tennis, so it doesn’t matter if you’re in the lead, you haven’t won until you’ve put your opponent to bed, which takes as much mental strength as it does technical ability. This is why there are so many close shaves in tennis and so few genuine upsets. Except nobody told Lukas Rosol, who despite being ranked 100 in the world and facing the player who’s won everything in tennis and has just come off a seventh French Open title, smacked down three aces and saw it out.

Poor old applecart, (I don’t know why it’s so keen for the favourite to win, my guess is some long-standing grudge against bookies) first the Germans, then Nadal and to cap it all, there was the news that Stuart Pearce, managerial genius, motivational guru, Pizza Hut legend, has left Beckham out of the Team GB squad in favour of Craig Bellamy. I mean… at least there was some comedy value with Becks. Have you seen his moustache? He looks like a Victorian strongman. But no. We couldn’t take Becks because we needed more attacking options, and of all the countries in the Union, middle-aged, angry Craig is the best we’ve got. That probably explains a lot.

Comments (2)

1. Matthew | 29/06/2012
So happy to watch Germans lose. But really sad that Becks isn't in GB squad. What's the point in Olympics football if not to see old war horses teach the youngsters a thing or two?

Think you should start a petition telling Stuart Pearce that we run British (not English) football and Becks MUST PLAY.
2. mark | 29/06/2012
the way i see it, we've got until monday to injure bellamy - in a nice way.
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