Welcome to the party, pal
By Mark Daniell
27/06/2018
Well that was a bit of fun, wasn’t it? Now I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I agree, in many ways the double header format of simultaneous final group games is a lot like Return of the Jedi: you’re busy watching ewoks smack stormtroopers on Endor, when at any moment, a big old space battle could finish everything off before you’ve so much as tripped up your first AT-ST. (I was always disappointed with that name, AT-AT is awesome, AT-ST isn’t even pronounceable.) So even when Rojo guides in the winner in the dying minutes, you’re still aware that a goal hundreds of miles away could destroy everything.
Luckily for R2, Chewie and Messi, that didn’t happen.
Let’s check out how the kids did:
Who’s going to win between Nigeria and Argentina?
3 year old: Argeria
7 year old: Who? Did you say Argentina? Say Argentina!
3: Argentina!
7: Yeah!
Again, right on the money! Even to the point of including the element of doubt. I don’t know what we’re discovering, but we’re discovering something.
Anyway, now’s probably a good time to point out how, albeit inadvertently, the BBC and ITV are introducing my 7 year-old to the concept of rhetorical questions:
Commentator: Is there no stopping Harry Kane?
7 year old: Is there really no stopping Harry Kane? He doesn’t know! Maybe there isn’t! And if there really is no stopping Harry Kane, how can we lose?
Commentator: Are you kidding me?
7 year old: Are they kidding him, Papa? It’s not a joke, right? Is it a joke? Are they kidding him?
I haven't figured out how to answer those questions, so I'm treating them as rhetorical too.
Kit of the day:
Denmark’s home kit does everything a kit should do: it’s mostly red, bit of white, has some fancy chevrons down the shoulders and is made by a Danish company. How many kits are actually made in the country they represent? I bet if more were we’d see more fancy shoulder chevrons.
Name of the day
Wilfred Ndidi
As in: Ndidi did. Ndidi did what? Ndidi did what he had to do. Which was? Whatever Ndidi did. Indeed.
Moment of the day:
Well, Rojo’s winner at the end of a match so nerve-obliterating that it nearly killed Maradona, is a contender, but a more significant moment happened earlier in the game when the ref dismissed a penalty handball shout against Argentina only to be called back by VAR. Having reviewed the footage by the side of the pitch, he stuck to his original decision. I’m pretty sure everyone was expecting the opposite, but a nice change to see a referee standing his ground. (The decision, I appreciate, was close, and had it gone the other way, pff, I’d be ranting.)
Goal of the day:
Come on, you know where this is going: Banega looks up, a run flashes between the lines of defenders some thirty yards ahead, he arrows a raking, cross-field pass over the heads of 7 players to the top corner of the box where it’s met at full pelt, cushioned once on the thigh, twice on the left boot, dinked past the last defender to the right boot and rifled, top bins, past the diving keeper. He can’t take penalties, but Messi scores the best goals you’ll ever see. Welcome to Russia 2018 baby!
Today’s kidictions
Who’s going to win between Sweden and Mexico?
3 year old: Sweden
Who’s going to win between Serbia and Brazil?
7 year old: Brazil
Lastly, I was reading the middle pages of the Evening Standard the other day (yes, the middle ones) and it struck me how they just barf up the same old gubbins year after year. So how about this for an idea? You keep a bunch of old Evening Standards in the garage, then just pop them back on the tube a year to the day later. How far into the paper do you think commuters will get before they realise it’s 12 months out of date? This summer’s hot trend: pineapple print and pink panamas! Is it? Was that last year? Now's the time to buy in Beckton, is it? Or is this just thoughtless bilge? The Mouse doesn’t have the time, but some YouTube vlogger can do it, film the reactions and then, you know, get likes and stuff.